Today I woke up with a sadness. I don’t know where it came from or why it appeared, but as I literally tucked and rolled out of bed this morning (err.. almost afternoon) I felt the urge to crawl right back in it.
What is it about some days that get us down from the moment we awaken? While many may blame it on medical conditions (which may be the case for some), circumstances or location, I have to come to realize happiness is a matter of attitude.
Knowing that this is my new mantra and that my day would be shaped by my own outlook, I immediately began to meditate on how I could change my mind about how sad I felt. To no avail, I watched some Sunday morning church TV and hoped for the best.
But unfortunately, my sadness didn’t end there. I still couldn’t figure out why it existed or why I felt so down in the dumps, but I just couldn’t combat the feeling…. but I kept trying.
Later on, I went to brunch with my family and got some good chit chat in.. and I felt a little better… but not completely… but I kept trying.
I went Christmas shopping and battled the crowds at Walmart and Target.. and I felt a little better… but still a little down…but I kept trying.
Time ticked by and as each minute passed I tried even harder to change my mind about how I felt today. But as the sun set and drifted into the evening hours, I could feel the weight slowly lifting from my shoulders.
I ate some dinner… and felt a little better…
I sketched a painting…and felt a little better…
I visited my nephews… and felt a little better.
I wrapped some Christmas presents…and felt a little better.
You get the gist… but what occurred to me about 10 minutes ago, as I started my venture to bed, was that my entire day took a turn. I woke up feeling down, but as I creeped back toward my bed, and the starting place of my agony, I was entirely better.
The older I get, the more I realize how in control I am of my life and my attitude. I can remember days where I just couldn’t shake a bad mood. I just couldn’t get out of a funk. But what I never knew was sometimes these things take endurance. Sometimes feeling better is forcing yourself to change your mind. Forcing yourself to smile. Forcing yourself to feel better. Yes, emotions are important, but we can’t walk around each and every day miserable. We just can’t.
So my point today is that I’m thoroughly proud of myself. I’m proud of myself for controlling my life, for controlling my emotions and changing my mind. Life is all about perception, to me at least. It’s not about where you are, what you’re doing or how you’re doing it… it’s about how you perceive it. There are hillbillies who are more content and happy living in the mountains of West Virginia and making babies with their cousins than some of the richest movers and shakers in the world. Happiness is a state of mind no matter who you are… and of all things I hope to accomplish in life, this is tops.
So goodnight, world. Thanks for reminding me who’s boss.